It was way past midnight. In the stillness of the night, i tossed about in bed. Sleep seemed to have renounced me, and i was gravely absorbed in the wilderness of my invigorating imagination. Strangely, mental images of females with colossal beauty and poise started running through the unfathomable abyss of my head. Being a heterosexual who has undergone the deadly effects of puberty, i savored each and every moment of these hormone-provoking flashes.
Suddenly, to my abominal horror, these celestial thoughts instantly evolved into flashbacks featuring much lower beings, memories which haunt me till today - The faces of my Primary and Secondary school Chinese teachers. At this moment of dire predicament, my mini Eifle Tower abruptly transformed into the Leaning Tower Of Pisa. I groaned in violent displeasure.
Chinese teachers were my arch-enemies when i was schooling. Coming from a background in which everyone communicated predomiminantly in English and none whatsoever in Mandarin, i had a drastic time adjusting to the frequency of Chinese classes. I would never pay the slightest attention to them, and would spend all my time thinking of ways to create mischief and to wreak devastation in class. My mom's handphone soon became a toll-free hotline for Cheena teachers. They called up so often, my poor mom had a standard script prepared when answering to their complaints. Thanks mom! You're my man!
I can hardly string a proper sentence in Mandarin, maybe except for those regarding profanites and female genitals. Yes, female genitals! Being in an all-boys school for too long made us really curious, and haven't you heard? Curiousity killed the Pussy.
I remember vividly that there was once in Primary school when i deliberately told my female Chinese teacher (who also gave us tuitions) : "Lao Shi, Wo Hen Xi Huan ni de '
Pussy' ", knowing that she'll take it as Wo Hen Xi Huan Ni De '
Bu Xi' (which meant tuition) - and she replied with a smile, "Xi Huan Wo De
'Bu Xi' Jiu Hao".
But ofcourse, i chose to take it the wrong way and laughed all the way back home.
I Love Saint Michael's.
