She is a martyr often caught in a media of massive controversy. Fully utilizing her ornamental and bizarrely intricate Asian features, spiritually endearing smile and a pleasantly soft yet gravely intriguing voice, she carried out emotional campaigns which created considerable anxiety - hysterical stories that appeared in tabloid tales all over her block.

Coming from a distinguished background, she bears every characteristic of an aristocrat. Her elegance and aesthetic sophistication is the focal point of the incessant onslaught for her benevolent allegiance - her heart. She has a provocatively gratifying body structure which tickles the testosterones of males; causing blood to gush downwards, inducing the living-things residing at the lower part of our bodies to have a full Zouk-Out Event - with mosh-pits all over. Occasional glances at her legs remind me that the world can still be salvaged, and the world is not only engulfed in sin. Her legs' every action is my command. Her legs - in my opinion, is the New World Order.

I heart Sunday morning Church services. Can anyone guess why?

Our toughest battles are often fought within ourselves. At times, it seems virtually impossible to triumph over our instinctively impulsive tendencies. A continuous infusion of adrenaline and unrestrained indulgence over alcohol hauled me away from the clutches of my willpower that fateful night - I laid helpless and hypnotic, full of admiration over her impeccable body structure as I gazed intently, watching her dance rhythmically to the smooth flow of the music. The occasional vigorous bobs of her hips brought about a chain effect to those who had undergone puberty - I could practically hear Chee Yong's and Shachin's tadpoles squeal in delight, wanting to be unleashed forcefully from their Guantanamo Bays. She had every attribute of a Geisha; her voluptuous beauty striking rapturous delight and appetite into the hearts of many, causing my legs to weaken drastically, leaving my third-leg as the only boulder of support. Her silky dress flaunted her incredulous figure, instigating jealousy to all the female bystanders. The sleepy and sensual look in her eyes seduced every hormone in Shachin's body, leading his thoughts wildly astray, but he simply knew one thing - he had to fight all temptation and to keep his hands to himself. He was in a state of Limbo and all he could do next was to grind my ass into lamb-chops; exceeding the maximum limit of the richter scale, while marveling at her dance. I felt terribly violated for her. She was indeed the object of fantasy to many that night. She is poised to become the next Heidi Klum.

She is no other than Joyce, the Human Chinese Delicacy.

Sadly, I have not clubbed in 6 months and i'm already feeling the withdrawal symptoms bitching in my underpants. To all the sexy clubbers out there - Please send me a tell if you're going! Friday nights are the most ideal for me - That's if i even get to book out. :(

Is it just me or are girls really getting hotter?

I miss you badly, though we may never meet again.

I need a girlfriend.

My head is no longer classified as the hairiest part of my body.

Well, it depends on which head you are referring to.

The urge was uncontrollable. My salivary glands seemed to have malfunctioned on me as I stood rooted on the spot, indefatigably scrutinizing every part of her stupefying body. She emancipated an aura so magnificent and sublime, my bunk-mates and I had a sudden attack of epilepsy. Our body metabolism rates increased significantly as our hormones raged beyond any point of control. There were adrenaline rushes to weird parts of our body and within seconds, our innate monkey instincts took over us. We screeched, howled and growled as gallons of saliva dripped from the openings of our mouths. She was truly heaven's divine creation - an angel manifested with sugar, spice and everything nice.

There was a prodigious reaction as she strutted past us in the tropical island of Pulau Tekong. After about 3 weeks of not having the omnipotent gender (females) in sight, we were all astounded by her mere presence and were abandoned in a state of veneration - Even though she was a 70-year-old canteen helper.

It is finally understood why those serving National Service are often labelled as "Desperate NS Men".

I think i'm evolving into one.

Fuck.

Believe it or not, I'm eager to enter the military right now.

Rikki's 21st Birthday was such a BLAST! Not much to my surprise, I got sabotaged by him to dance on stage infront of a huge crowd. The whole event was awesome, and guess what? I got to dance with Rikki's mom on the dancefloor!

"Rikki's Mom has got it going on! She's all i want and i've waited so long! Rikki can't you see, your just not the guy for me, I know it might be wrong but i'm in love with Rikki's Mom!"

A frisson of awe shot through the secluded hollows of my heart. I sensed an obscure tinge of affection gushing through my bloodstream. I was ensnared in the immense realm of love and devotion, and I couldn't get out of it. It was as if time came to a complete halt - I was flustered, my heart skipped countless beats, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I had to take slow, deep and measured breaths to prevent my breathing from going astray. There were lapses in my thoughts, and I had to get my mental faculty in order. Soon, I got really tongue-tied.

The few seconds of eye contact was intense. I was left speechless by her large, sparkly blue eyes and sharp facial features. Her radiant smile and sunny disposition left me in a trance - I needed her so badly. She was an effervescent babe in an awesome swim-suit. (We were at the Pool-Bar at a Beach Resort in Tioman). The way she said "Hey, I'm Jesse" would make me die with no regrets whatsoever. She was incredibly hot - Half British, Half Chinese - Possibly another undiscovered Wonder of the World. I'd never thought that I would ever lay my eyes on such a beautiful girl in my life.

I could even see Rikki's Taj Mahal when he set his eyes on her - It was so huge, i thought it might be the water's refraction playing tricks on me. Boy, was i wrong!

However, I knew that my feelings for her had to come to an abrupt stop, and I'll have to live the rest of my life with tremendous sorrow. We had a massive age gap - She was merely a ten-year-old prepubescent.

Life is such a breeze when you dont have to work. These people are my ATM Machines!

There was a look of chronic discontent on her face. "Your frivolous party lifestyle is starting to give me the creeps Josh", my mom blurted out just as i was about to leave the house. Smirking gleefully, I responded "Don't tell me pops and you were decent when you guys were my age!" Her facial expression changed abruptly and she looked as if she was completely dumbfounded. "Nothing can get through that thick skull of yours Josh, but Hey, whatever floats your boat man. I couldn't care less anymore." she uttered. Feeling repentent, I inched closer to her, gave her a nice warm hug, and whispered a passionate "I Love You Mom".

(Now you are supposed to say awwwwwwwwwww)

Then after, i was hot on my heels and dashed off to meet the rest of the guys in town, before heading to a safe haven, and also called paradise to many - Dbl O.

Youth is the age of intoxication. The vanquish of self-control, the lapses of consciousness and a vertiginous state of mind are the three major elixirs needed for us to live a life of grandeur and majestic splendour.

It was Ladies Night at Dbl O and the atmosphere was intense. Hordes of scantily clad females infested the understaffed proximity of the club. The girls were young, frolicsome and ostentatious - a tasty treat for my little Frodo. It was only natural to observe blatant disrespect and compromising maneuvers towards the weaker gender at such places. Tawdry intentions filled the air. This is when the term "Finger Licking Good" fits in best.

We met up with the German Exchange Students and two conspicuously alluring local female girls that were with them. Never in my wildest dreams have i ever imagined that beauty could exist in pairs, until i saw the twins that faithful day. Images of "Mary-Kate & Ashley" as well as MTV VJs "May & Choi" flashed through the shallow dimensions of my mind, but then again, I realised that not even these celebrity twins could compare to the appeal that Xeun & Hayden had. They had smiles so enchanting, guys around them seemed to have been bewitched by their astonishing beauty, and were exceedingly willing to sell their souls to them - Free of charge. Perhaps these twins are the undiscovered Eighth Wonder of the World? (I'll be so dead if they happen to chance upon this)

As we strolled deeper into the club, I noticed the voluptuous desire in Scott's eyes as he gazed intently at several remarkably sexy ladies dancing on elevated platforms. He had his eyes so rigidly fixated on certain parts, I figured that he was trapped in a world of his own, deeply indulged in his frightful fantasies. I was so afraid that his little Pikachu might evolve into Raichu that I pryed him away from those dancers and knocked some sense into him. I had to stop the zaps of lightning that were about to be unleashed from his little Raichu's head. Moments later, he started hitting on a girl, leaving me to venture out on my own. What a friend indeed.

Rikki, not much to my surprise, made himself a living human drill. I'm sure he had a quota to meet for the number of holes that he has to drill onto another persons' bottoms. One thing I have to admit about him, he has a quality i'd gladly take my hat off to. This guy has got massive guts. I tried talking to him, but i guess that at such a time, little Rikki did all the thinking. And so, i left him undisturbed, giving him all the space that he needed to meet his boundaryless quota.

I, on the other hand, was much too shy to do anything out of the ordinary. Being the decent guy that I am, I chose a path of absolute isolation and solitude. Hitting on girls is definitely not my forte, and i merely smiled to myself seeing how my friends grinded each other. It is a must to get out of my self-inhibitation. Now i understand why my love-life is so wretched, with only one ex-girlfriend, three years ago. I need some kind of psychaitric treatment to open myself up. Recommendations, anyone?

It was way past midnight. In the stillness of the night, i tossed about in bed. Sleep seemed to have renounced me, and i was gravely absorbed in the wilderness of my invigorating imagination. Strangely, mental images of females with colossal beauty and poise started running through the unfathomable abyss of my head. Being a heterosexual who has undergone the deadly effects of puberty, i savored each and every moment of these hormone-provoking flashes.

Suddenly, to my abominal horror, these celestial thoughts instantly evolved into flashbacks featuring much lower beings, memories which haunt me till today - The faces of my Primary and Secondary school Chinese teachers. At this moment of dire predicament, my mini Eifle Tower abruptly transformed into the Leaning Tower Of Pisa. I groaned in violent displeasure.

Chinese teachers were my arch-enemies when i was schooling. Coming from a background in which everyone communicated predomiminantly in English and none whatsoever in Mandarin, i had a drastic time adjusting to the frequency of Chinese classes. I would never pay the slightest attention to them, and would spend all my time thinking of ways to create mischief and to wreak devastation in class. My mom's handphone soon became a toll-free hotline for Cheena teachers. They called up so often, my poor mom had a standard script prepared when answering to their complaints. Thanks mom! You're my man!

I can hardly string a proper sentence in Mandarin, maybe except for those regarding profanites and female genitals. Yes, female genitals! Being in an all-boys school for too long made us really curious, and haven't you heard? Curiousity killed the Pussy.

I remember vividly that there was once in Primary school when i deliberately told my female Chinese teacher (who also gave us tuitions) : "Lao Shi, Wo Hen Xi Huan ni de 'Pussy' ", knowing that she'll take it as Wo Hen Xi Huan Ni De 'Bu Xi' (which meant tuition) - and she replied with a smile, "Xi Huan Wo De 'Bu Xi' Jiu Hao".

But ofcourse, i chose to take it the wrong way and laughed all the way back home.

I Love Saint Michael's.

It all started innocently enough. Screams of "Paul Van Dyke!" and "PVD" echoed through the depths of the compacted dancefloor. The fervent admirers of PVD seemed like a mob of hysterical vigilantes, unleashing outlandish warcries so piercing and detrimental to the eardrums, it bewildered and jostled my mental well-being momentarily. Their body movements were so violent and robust, i thought i was trapped in the middle of a mosh-pit.

There were girls with necklines that plunged so deep, I thought they might be walking mannequins for a lingerie company. Shachin, having born with the talent of having punctilious adherence to female organ technicalities, had his relentlessly merciless eyes scanning around for their divine sacred organs. He seemed to have been completely overwhelmed by these milk factories that he looked every bit like a drunkard who was intoxicated with his hidden animal instincts. Time stopped completely for him, and he was in a state of such awe and anxiety, a guy could touch his privates and he wouldn't give a shit about it. He needed a restraining order immediately. Someone tame him, please?

"Your Eyes!" I squealed in protest while doing a hand movement which signified that i'm watching him.

"Cannot tahan ah. Just look at those! Everyday kena sia." he replied.

"Ah Ah Siol!" - i acknowleged. (Ah Ah Siol is a malay slang for agreeing on something.)

Initially, i was ambivalent about going to this event at Zouk knowing that it was going to be Trance. However, with the perfect company of the German Exchange Students, we wanked the night away. Shachin was grinding so hard, he looked as if he wanted to drill a hole onto someone's bottoms. His little Man of Steel was standing on its ends, making its way through the Earth's core.

The Germans were awesome, dancing to the beats and sweating the night away. Hot, lesbian action sparked out of nowhere, sending us guys to moan in delight. Many heterosexuals in the crowd couldnt pry their hungry eyes off them, and all i thought to myself was "What the wank?! Could i join in? Pretty Puhhleasee?"

Images of lesbian videos that i've watched on YouTube flashed concurrently on my mind as i watched the exhibition on the dancefloor. I felt like my little God of War was going to unleash its fury.

(Gosh, why am i revealing to you guys on stuff that I watch on YouTube?)

Heh.

2 whole years more to go till i get to have the time of my life in Australia. It's gonna be the Bachelor of Commerce, the 7 year course.

It is something intangible and we can only come close saying that it is being in a state of utter gaiety and felicity. It is when we are governed by the sudden emotional explosions of euphoria and nostalgia and we feel possessed by the temperaments of our sentimental natures. Call it rapturously exciting, even Hollywood belongs to us. No words in my vocabulary can describe this ecstasy of serenity.

We'll be walking through the carpal tunnel of alchohol consumption, and the feeling of being on a high - A weekly affair for most guys, or for me at least.

The dramatic effects of alchohol would only fame infamy, but no one gives a flying fish about it; it gets the girls biting and the boys pulverizing. Girls become submissive and the guys get all offensive - One moment of weakness, a few shots of tequila and several badly chosen actions performed in haste destroys the entire meaning of conservatism. Is someone guilty of this from the clubbing experience we had on friday? Hehe. It's a SHE btw. I guess your monkey instincts overwhelmed you. HAHA.

Hell yeah! The pros of singlehood? We get to poke whenever and whereever we want to, getting holes on our dress-pants! Hallelujah to that!

Now now, when are we next going clubbing?

He's bright, horny and doesnt look a day past 15. With his classic impish smirk and spontaneous demeanour, he is blessed with hamster beige skin, swanky tresses and enormous pellucid eyes.

There has been no shortcuts to peeping but Gervais Yam is in no hurry. In many occasions in toilets, standing infront of urinals, he would gently unzip his denim jeans in the same vintage fashion he does all the time while having a desperate look of zest and vitality on his ornamental face. He would then patiently shift his head to my direction and await for me to unzip my bottoms with a reckless look of anticipation on his face. As my zip progressed lower and lower, his eyes would glow increasingly with vile and contempt. It is at this time when his tongue will start springing into life and develop a rapid flapping movement. These rapid flapping movements of his tongue would increase in violence and vigor the longer he stared into the depths of my merlion. "Havent you seen a guy pee in your life?" I would exclaim in protest. Maintaining his radiant smile, exasperated squeals and laughter would soon emerge from his filthy mouth. "I like guys with your defiant character" he would whisper to my ear. "I do not like creepy-crawlies though." he would exclaim while giving a dodgy look at my merlion.

It is when i turned and peeped at his little yam when i finally had to agree on his point that he has been reiterating to us days before, in which he replied : "There in my pants!" when someone asked him about where Anacondas could be found.

Screw all the Celebrity Look-alike competitions. No one has ever gotten this close.

When little Joshua was a mere 6 year-old, he met a beautiful girl named Julie at a nearby playground. "She's hot!", he exclaimed. It was indeed love at first sight and little Joshua's heart skipped countless beats. He simply couldnt pry his tiny eyes off her. She was the object of his fantasy for many hours. He was so thrilled he got into a minor hyperventilation.

Soon, they got together and were so deeply in love with each other, they decided to get married. As a result, little Joshua plucked up the courage, went to little Julie's house, approached her father and courageously asked him for her hand in marriage.

Thinking that this was the most adorable thing that he has ever heard, Little Julie's father responded : "Well, Josh.. You are only 6. Where will you two be staying at?"

Little Joshua, who at that time thought that her father was stupid in asking a question with such an obvious answer replied : "In my room ofcourse! It's bigger than hers, and I have a slide connected to my bed. We can both fit in there nicely."

Still thinking that this is just adorable, Little Julie's dad said to little Josh : "Okay. And how are you going to support her? Do you have a job?"

Little Josh replies "Our allowance. Julie makes 2 bucks a week and I make 5 bucks a week. That's about $28 bucks a month and that should pull us through."

By this time Julie's dad is impressed that Little Joshua has put so much thought into this. He thinks for several moments trying to come up with something that Little Josh will not have any answer to.

Moments later, Julie's dad says, "Well, Josh, it seems like you have got everything all planned and figured out. I just have one more burning question to ask you. What if you were to get little kids of your own?"

Little Joshua shrugged his tiny shoulders and said "Well Uncle.. we have been pretty lucky so far.."

From that day onwards, Little Joshua never saw Little Julie ever again.

The word temptation has a negative connotation. In my opinion, to be tempted is to have the sudden urge or desire of doing something seemingly congenial, leading us to experiences filled with intense or unrestrained excitement. However, most of these actions may prove to be unwise and profligate.

As a student, the source in which most of my temptations were derived from was due to a delightful process called Puberty. This process left me to contend with an adversary and an opposing force all by myself - i needed the strength to overcome the waves of temptations inducing me to stare and drool over a supreme, omnipotent gender, the females.

Temptation shows no discrimination for any race, language, religion or gender. We will be tempted in various ways throughout our lives.



It is during such moments that our values and morals in life are challenged, and through our respective actions and responses, our characters are revealed.

We totally understand how you feel Althea, it's only human. You dont have to be shy about it. Lets blame it all on the process of, Puberty.

The Benefits Of Racial Harmony & Social Cohesion.



A picture speaks a thousand words.

Couldnt you guys agree more?

I'm in need of some ICE COLD COCA COLA! From the looks of it, there will be enough cola to last me for the rest of my life. Hehe.